I’m writing this late on new year’s eve. It’s 11 pm and I’m out here thinking about goals. Update: guess who saw no point in staying up. It’s now morning, but I’m still in a reflective mood, and I wanted to think about my year.
In January, I spent a month in Israel: 10 days were for the birthright trip, and the rest were for seminary. I had actually taken this time off my internship, and I learned a lot while I was in Israel. During the birthright trip, I had a nagging feeling that I wasn’t thinking enough about psychology, even though it was a vacation. I guess my definition of a vacation is “doing work, but in a new place”.
March was a hard month. I got rejected from one of the grad schools I wanted to go to. The two that I got accepted to were in San Diego and Irvine. I was torn, because I have a very frugal mentality, and I didn’t want to pay for housing and meals in addition to school. Many tears were shed over this turn of events. Fortunately, I wrote a compelling letter of continued interest and got off the wait list for my current graduate school, which is located in the LA area. I did not have to move after all.
March was also the month that I wrote my psychology today article, which I worked extremely hard on, and which I was told lost its relevance due to the pandemic. Again: a hard month. But, on the bright side, I was going to Sinai Scholars meetings at UCLA, and I also met two close friends at this time.
Throughout my gap year, and continuing up until April, I interviewed for probably 20 jobs. I already had two positions, technically. But I wanted to find a job that I didn’t have due to family connections. I guess I wanted the validation of having a job that I found all on my own. It was a resolution of mine. Several times, I got extremely close. I even got an offer letter, only to learn that this job wanted me to pay a thousand dollars for the equipment.
Frustration from the lack of results turned into gratitude for my current circumstances once the pandemic hit. I was able to keep both jobs: Continuity Care, because working with nurses makes me “essential”, and writing reports for my mom’s psychology company. So, in April, I was very much on top of things. I called friends several times a week, I worked hard, and I got accepted to the school where I am now a first year doctoral student. It’s also the school that my mom attended, so that was special.
In the first few days of May, I got into my first relationship. Relationships teach you many things: what your priorities are; how to balance friends, work, school, and quality time with your boyfriend; how to fall in love with someone while still maintaining your independence.
June, July, and August made for a weird summer break because the pandemic was in full swing. My family and I went on a weekend getaway to escape the monotony of home. Fortuitously, we were in a financial position to be able to do that, for which I was and am very grateful. I also exercised from home a lot. And, in September, I started my doctoral program! The months after that were spent studying and working. That brings me to right now. It’s January 1st. This year, I haven’t felt inspired to make resolutions, because if 2020 taught me anything, it’s that your plans are never guaranteed.
But I guess I have a few. If gyms reopen, I really want to gain my strength back. I’ve continued to exercise throughout quarantine, but the heaviest weight I have at home is a 60 lb weight, and deadlifts just aren’t the same. I’ve been exercising consistently since age 15, so I have stopped setting fitness goals. As long as I’m active, I’m happy.
I also want to keep my room clean and organized, particularly my desk. In addition, I’m going to continue aiming for that resolution that I had from last year, which was to find a job outside of family connections. I don’t know why it seems important to me, but it is. I might get an LPCC license after finishing my practicum hours (this counseling license requires a certain amount of supervised hours, which is perfect because I’m already doing them for my doctorate).
My other goals are listed on my whiteboard:
What are yours?