Hello, friends. Buckle up and keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle, because today is going to be a wild ride.
Now that you’ve read my to do list, you know two things: a) I have a lot to do today, and b) I own a lot of colored pens (sorry not sorry). I downed a cup of coffee and got right down to business by doing three report summaries. Then, I did a session for Continuity Care and submitted my notes. When I got back to my room, something made me smile.
By this point, it was lunch, and I was not losing momentum. My mom made chicken. “Vera, can you check on it?” she asked. I have a fear of undercooked chicken, so when I was put in charge, I left it in the oven for a while. After all, a little crispiness never hurt anyone. Fortunately, the chicken was ready without being burnt, we had lunch together, and the dog only begged for it once.
I worked out in the home gym, on the elliptical so as not to aggravate my sore ankles.
In the evening, I did my ethics reading. By the time I was able to call my friend Ariana, my brain was full of psychology.
“How are you?” she asked.
“I just read one hundred pages of Ethics in Psychology, so I’m feeling tired but ethical,” I said. Thus commenced a conversation on law, ethics, and everything in between. Ariana is so brilliant. She told me I was just as smart, which made me stop short, because in general, I don’t have the highest opinion of my own intelligence as compared to people like her.
Inspired by the conversation, for the first time in 9 months, I cracked open my novel. I’ll be honest: I hesitated. Because it was so long since I last read it, I had a lingering fear that it was worse than I remembered, or that I should drop the endeavor, since the literary agents I emailed a summer ago were unenthused. “Please, God, don’t make me hate this thing,” I thought to myself. I set a 25 minute timer. I told myself that once the timer was up, I could decide what I wanted to do with the book. I could even scrap it. But I needed to give my optimistic, 18-year-old self a chance. She was the girl who wrote 2,000 words a day. I could not let her down.
Guys. I forgot how much I loved it. It made me laugh. It made me want to keep reading. Granted, Half and Half is 237 pages and a little over 80,000 words, but I need to fight for this novel if I want to see it published. I can’t allow it to rot in my computer and half-heartedly email people without being my own biggest fan. My conversation with Ariana reminded me that I need to stop underestimating myself. I need to improve my opinion of my own intelligence if I want to succeed in this world. I’m on my way to do that.