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How to Not Lose Yourself in a Relationship (and other parts of my day) ❤️☀️

I’ve been reading a lot of anti-Valentine rhetoric, and I think the other side must be heard: the side of cheesiness, of posting pictures for the sake of it, of listening to Taylor Swift and dancing around your room. I am a cynic by nature, but on valentine’s day, I transform into a red-and-pink wearing, smiling cheeseball. And yes, that happens whether or not I am in a relationship. Two years ago, I wore a very red outfit to college. I looked like a walking Valentine. Did my single status deter me? Hell to the no.

When getting into a relationship, I was unsure of how I would handle that new phase of life. I didn’t want to turn into the type of girl that replaces all “I” pronouns with “we”; I was afraid of becoming someone whose life revolves around a guy. But I maintain my independence, which has kept me fulfilled in more ways than one. I still call or see my friends once a week. I still work both jobs and I am still in grad school. Nothing has changed except that I am a lot happier.

Speaking of happy things, my life has been going well lately. First, most excitingly, I got an offer from a practicum site. Practicum is our version of “doing the rounds”; you get to do therapy and assessments for real clients while being supervised by a licensed psychologist. I have a few stories about not-so-nice practicum sites, including one place that didn’t follow up for a month, and then sent me a random time and date for an interview without ever asking what my schedule was.

“Would you be open to interviewing me at a different time? I have a previous work commitment that I can’t change,” I wrote, which is true. “The times are set,” was the response. Set by whom? Certainly not by me! So I’m just glad to be over and past that stage, with at least one offer under my belt.

I’ve also been trying to drive more on my own. Last night, my sister knocked on my door, smiling and paying me far more compliments than my outfit warranted. “There’s something you want,” I joked. And there was. She wanted someone to drive her to dance class. She sent me the address, and this morning, I decided that I could drive there. I am not going to improve my driving skills by just sitting at home and thinking about my driving skills, so I’m glad I made the decision to practice.

Another exciting update is that after a long hiatus (pandemic, anyone?) I get to work with another kiddo who has special needs. I will be shadowing him at school, and today, I am meeting him and his family for the first time. Next week, on the days when I don’t have classes, I’ll be attending his school and shadowing him to ensure that his day goes well. This aligns pretty well with my goal to branch out in my work, so I’m thrilled!

And, lastly, I will get to see two friends this weekend. During Birthright Israel, we lived in the same room, and became close as a result. Imagine our shock upon discovering that we are practically neighbors back in LA!

This is already turning out to be a long blog post, but recently I was thinking about how thankful I am. There was a time when I thought that I may not even get into graduate school, and now I am already planning ahead for my second year! Or, I thought I might not have friends in my cohort, but I have met the sweetest people. True story: my standards for guys are so high that someone once told me I’d be single for a long, long time, which I cheerfully planned for. And now, I am almost a year into dating the best guy ever. Life is very different from my expectations, which means that it’s even better than I could’ve imagined. Okay, y’all, I’m off to eat my morning oatmeal now ❤️ cheesiness adjourned.


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Hi everyone! I started my doctorate in clinical psychology in fall 2020. A google search revealed that there are no current grad school blogs for psychology students. Anyway, I happen to know a girl who wants to document her journey to getting a doctorate (spoiler: it's me). Welcome. Hope you stay awhile!

6 thoughts on “How to Not Lose Yourself in a Relationship (and other parts of my day) ❤️☀️

  1. First of all, I LOVE your fashion in this photo. Second of all, YES BRING OUT THE CHEESE!! The older I get, the more I want to bust out all the guns for all the holidays! Because I think we all can do with more celebration and joy… and if holidays give me an excuse to do it, why not??
    Also, I’ve been saying the same thing to myself with regards to dating – but your story makes me excited for my future partner ☺️ Wishing you all the best.


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